So I'm not going to lie. I've met a lot of guys on the internet, and some of those even in person. Is there anything wrong with that? I'm inclined to say no, seeing as you can do just about anything on the internet in the first place. I can watch movies, order socks, and even make dinner reservations through the internet, so why not meet guys too? And to all you naysayers, let me prove to you why it's totally worth it, if just for amusement's sake, to do so.
I was talking to a guy I had "friended" yesterday just now. We were going through the typical questions that you'd ask to get to know one another. One of my favorites is, "So why did you join x-dating/x-social networking site?" Guys that want to play it cool typically reply, "Oh well just to meet people, y'know." Maybe they don't have many gay friends. But I encountered a brand new species of internet boy: one that replies, "To find the One."
It's always nice to have someone muss up your preconceived notions about stuff. This guy was one of those "someones." He wasn't just any "someone", either. He was a "someone" looking for the "One." I had to ask, in a manner I now regret as negligently crass, "What does that even mean?"
"The one I want to spend the rest of my life with," he replied.
"What makes you think you're in a position to decide that, at this age?" I replied.
To which he replied, "What makes you think you're in a position to ask?"
Ouch. Ba-zing. Face. These sorts of one-liners would all suffice to describe the amount of attitude I commensurately received in response to my rude question. At this point I tried to backpedal as quickly as possible, to keep the conversation civil.
But it never did stay civil, for at the second I questioned his rationale, everything soured quicker than a cream pie smashed on a clown's face. He kept insisting that he had experience with men, but hell so did I. He insisted he was almost 21, but hell I'm not too far away myself. None of these reasons would be convincing enough for me. I just can't see how someone so youthful would want to bag themselves a husband, a partner if you will.
Now I'm thinking about how much I've considered this nonsense. It's interesting now that I'm remembering how I've thought about my wedding, what kind of ring I want, and where I want to register. Was I just as silly as this fool?
Even if I am thinking about these silly things at a young age, I'm only doing so in a fanciful, "mayhaps" kind of way. This dude is looking to settle down, combine the little assets he has, and close the doors and windows to more experience with relationships. It's almost like he's decided he knows all there is to know about relationships, and that there were no more men out there to teach him anything about love, partnership, or unity.
Now I know, I'm giving myself a high-five here. But listen when I say it's for a solid reason: I don't know all there is to know about relationships. I haven't even had a relationship that's lasted more than two weeks, if that. I don't usually get past the third date. It's abundantly clear to me that I have more to learn about lots of things. Someone once told me some quote by a Chinese philosopher about acknowledging what we do not know as a powerful thing. So it is with great pride and pleasure that I self-high-five myself.
I'm feeling generous today. I'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt, seeing as I don't know his circumstances. Maybe he has all the preparation he needs to go ahead with finding the One. But if there's just the One, if there's just one great love in our lives, our lengthy lives, doesn't it sound a tad boring? Morose even?
So what's the lesson of the story today kids? Let's always remember to keep the pluralization on that infamous noun phrase "great loves."
Keep loving yourself and others, folks, and have a pleasant day!
